Why Did the Librarian Cross the Road?

To get to the other slide!

There are some things in life that all of us take for granted: that the grass is always greener on the other slide, that two plus two equals (roughly) four, and that the average 22 year old, at some point during her life, picked up basic life skills like how to safely venture from one side of the road to the other. Well, one of those assumptions was shattered today.

I guess I was napping during my childhood lessons on road safety. As we all know, I have at times had trouble in this area, occasionally finding myself upon the hood of an impatient motorist's vehicle. I always assumed this was their fault, (because it always was, at least for those who see stop signs as a suggestion to be ignored at will) and took up jaywalking to protect myself. In my view, by crossing in the middle of the street you can pick a time when there are no cars and nearly guarantee you survival, whereas crosswalks are inherently flanked by potentially murderous motorists, and it only takes one psychopath to abruptly reunite you with Jesus. So before today, I always made my own fortune and crossed wherever I pleased.

Well, I always wondered what those little buttons were for. Are you sitting down? Because this may rock your world. Please sit down.

Apparently, when you push the button at the crosswalk, all traffic stops for long enough that even Grandma can safely make it to the other slide. I always wondered why I never got the walk signal at crosswalks, no matter how long I waited; apparently, they no longer accept telepathic messages (back in my day it was simpler....)

That is the funny thing about life; whenever you start feeling a little too smug and superior to your fellow man, along comes something like this to remind you that we are all defective in our own special ways. Celebrate your defects today!