It's Not OK To Laugh At This!

First, I would like to begin with a book recommendation. ::checks over shoulder:: Is anybody looking? No? Ok, good! The Book is called Stuff White People Like, and it is available at the Jacksonville Public Library. (All copies are currently checked out, for obvious reasons.) The book presents 150 things white people like, each with a short explanation. It was written by an authentic White Guy. Let me just share with you a couple of entries I have read so far:

5. Farmer's Markets
White people are drawn to Farmer's Markets like moths to a flame.In fact, white people have such strong instincts that if you release a white person into a random Saturday morning they will return to you with a reusable bag full of fruits and vegetables. (Hmmm, I think I qualify as a provisional Caucasian based on this one.)

8. Barack Obama
White people like Obama because they are afraid that if they don't, they will be considered racist. (All the old folks nudging me at the library are proof enough of this.)

One of my coworkers ordered this book, and I borrowed her copy and have been stealthily reading at home. I feel like I need to cover it with brown paper, and I have begun responding with, "What?! A white person gave it to me!!" whenever someone asks me how my day was. It is hilarious in a very politically incorrect fashion. I shared it with Michaela when we went out to dinner, and we had a good laugh. Subsequently, to even things out she asked me whether you could actually see colored tattoos on colored folks, and I told her about Mom's coworker with Woody Woodpecker on her neck. (This was after I posed a question about a madman threatening you with death or the tattoo of your choice, which he would immediately apply.[I chose a yellow duck.] And before you ask, eating jars of mayonnaise was not presented as a third option.)

In closing, please, have a heart and read this book so I can have someone to discuss it with. I am only a quater of the way through, but the silence is already killing me.